落ちるまで -Memento Mori
by ritterlich
Summary: "Taniyama Mai" was only one of the thousands of names that she took upon by the passing years. She was an inexplicable existence— one that death never laid its fingers on. But why does her private clock starts ticking when she gets included in the SPR team? Rated T.
1. i - viii

**Disclaimers: Ghost Hunt isn't mine. There'll be a few OC's but they'll be minor and they'll disappear as quickly as they entered.**

 **Summary: "Taniyama Mai" was only one of the thousands of names that she took upon by the passing years. She** **was an inexplicable existence** — **one that death never laid its fingers on. But why does her private clock starts ticking when she gets included in the SPR?**

* * *

 **落ちるまで** **-** ℳ⻚2⻥4⻚2⻥5⻦1⻥6 ℳ⻥6⻥9⻥0

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 **i.** **永世** **  
** _"We are immortal until our work on earth is done."_

Humans are ugly beings.

War. Destruction. Steal. Betray. Kill. Countless and countless of monstrous devilry, that I stopped counting anymore. I asked myself if it was worth it, and most of me answered that it wasn't. It's a continuation—a repetition—hoping for them to stop their vileness is unfeasible. For all I know, the universe would reach the end of its life but they will not change. I know of this, because they didn't. After thousands of thousands of years that I watched over them, they were still despicable as they had first started.

From Hominidae to being a Homo sapiens. They had been animals at the basic and primitive level—competing with the other animals for food resources, for social supremacy, and for other things that are imperative for survival. But their intelligence was vast in comparison to any being. They were the pinnacle of the food chain, and because of this, they grew conceited and supercilious.

I was a human. I stopped being one without my consent. At the beginning, I lamented over this fact, but after years of beholding, I could only shake my head at my innocent tomfoolery.

I was born to a family that sustained itself by the clear waters of a river, fruits from trees, and animals that strayed on our village's turf. We worshipped any god, and were grateful when they blessed us with auxiliary supplies. We were happy, but tranquil guilelessness never lasts. Something—no, _someone_ out there would surely destroy the peacefulness, and everything is reduced to nothing.

As I would have expected, the humans flourished immensely. Very Ironic, really. Such a shame that the only thing that evolved was the physical aspect; never did the temperament.

I went with many names, and the name that I originally had was long forgotten, buried in the compiling sands of time. I died plenty as well, but the next day after my death, I would find myself lying on some place that would probably be at least millions of kilometers from the location of my death, and I collect myself in a second and move on. I just understood that brooding over the fact of the possible resurrection is pointless. I was able to learn this in a long way, because really, what could stop curiosity?

I had been many things—waitress, shoe polisher, nurse, maid—but I would quit after a year or two since they would notice that I do not age, and eventually the fact that I do not die as well. No matter how deep the bonds went, I still left. And I continued to, no matter how painful.

Of course, I have already thought of the probability that I was not the only one who is—as humans labeled—an immortal. From this day on, I still remain to wonder. I could have passed them on the busy streets, could have dined with them on the same restaurant, could have suffered with them on the same slum—could have been only meters away from them and lose the chance to meet my own kind.

* * *

 **ii.** **朋友** **  
** _"The best helping hand you will ever receive is the one at the end of your own arm."_

Before I knew it, the world had revolved too much and I was already in the 20th century, trying to find my own sanctuary by blending with humans. I worked as a hair stylist in Hong Kong, and the profession, being a work that I have done numerous of times, was not at all hard.

What made it hard was when I cut a little boy's hair and he told me that I looked familiar. And as if the curtains of his mind opened, he clapped his hands and said that I looked exactly like the woman together with his great-great-great grandmother in an old photograph in the 18th century. I waved a hand at him, joking that I couldn't have possibly lived that long, and my mind raced and leaped, tearing memories by memories, attempting to locate the ones where I left any evidences, like taking a photograph.

And sure, there was. I, who have avoided being projected in something of permanence, had my photo taken with a beautiful little girl that I served as a babysitter once. Her family was of Japanese origin, and they migrated in Hong Kong due to her father's work. _Koujo_ , I remember. They were the Koujo family.

The girl, Asuka Koujo, was sickly, therefore she was not permitted to go outside to play or even make friends with children her own age. Her only companion was me. I told her bed time stories as she dozed off to sleep, I cooked her treats as she ate them with enthusiasm, I consoled her when she cried because her parents could not go home in Christmas, and we laughed together, making snowmen and returning to her house when I saw how she trembled because of the coldness.

After three years, I knew it was time to go, and when I informed her, she became a crying mess that I didn't know how to comfort. She clutched tightly on my sleeve and refused to let go. It took hours to calm her down, and when she did, she insisted that we should take a photograph together. And viewing this as my only ticket for freedom, I granted her final wish.

True to my suspicions, when I asked the little boy what his name was, he told me that his name was Koujo Lin. When he asked me what mine was, I told him the disposable name I currently am called as. The child smiled in recognition and I nodded, quite happy to be able to meet a blood relative of my old and late friend.

* * *

 **iii.** **怪奇** **  
** _"Sometimes, when you pray for a miracle, God gives you two."_

Approximately ten years after that when I met the boy once again. He had grown taller, his muscles tight against his dress shirt, his hair longer, and he sported a serious expression. I was adopted by a wealthy family, and was urged to go to a formal party with them, and I did. I saw no room for refusal, since I was technically freeloading despite the adopted status.

Koujou Lin was no longer the little boy he used to be. He was now a handsome teenager that stood proudly and gallantly, sweeping off most of the girls that attended the party and making them swoon.

I didn't miss the two tiny figures beside him. Two identical boys displaying two different expressions: one was smiling kindly, and the other was scowling, as if the last thing that he wanted in his life was to be in the party. I chuckled at this. I think it's pretty cute.

My guard, after years of years of polishing it, was on a level incomparable for a human to develop. With heightened senses and agile movements, I could most likely decapitate all the guests in the ball room. Overpowered, but it should be expected. I deemed physical proficiency a must after dying for god-knows how many. Pain is still pain, and dying is a torrent of pain submerging every sensation I have. Experiencing it every fourth a century coaxed me to train so that I could become competent in _not dying_.

Which is why, when I felt the lace of my gown being tugged upon without my awareness, I almost went full-throttle mode. Fortunately, I was able to stop myself and seeing that it was just a child, a sigh of relief escaped my lips. The child, as I can recognize, was the one standing beside Koujo Lin, one of the twins who had the kind smile.

I bent down and asked him what was the matter, and all the while displaying his benign smile, he told me that I wasn't human. I was stupefied at this. I was about to retort a lie when he interrupted and said that he can tell and that I don't need to worry.

I delved in silence and so did he. I really didn't know what to say, and seemingly able to notice my incapability of speech at the moment, he patted me on the shoulder and stated that we will meet once again, through a different circumstance, different time and different place.

I didn't pry any longer. I scooted towards my older brother (from the family who adopted me) and asked who the kid was. Very much obliged, he answered "Eugene Davis".

I left the family after a year and a half in the middle of the night. I was conscious of my older brother's presence—undoubtedly teary eyed since he seemed very fond of me as his little sister—gazing at me from his room as I waded through the thick bushes. But he didn't call out or do anything to stop me from leaving. I know that he knew that someday I would be leaving them. And I know that deep inside him, he wanted to meet me again. Honestly, I feel the exact same thing.

* * *

 **iv.** **寂然** **  
** _"People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges."_

I arrived on Japan a month before the school officially started. I grasped the opportunity and enrolled myself—again, with my fake background and fake name. Everything went smoothly, and I was immediately surrounded by heaps of friends. Friends who knew nothing about what I am truly. Not that I paid any attention over it. Human life is short after all, they won't understand even if I elaborate my situation even to the tiniest detail.

I was in my second year of High School when I met a little girl that horribly reminded me of Asuka. Pitch black shoulder cut, straight bangs, squinted yet adorable orbs of gray, complexion as pale as the snow that cascaded her now turning a slight pinkish skin—She was exactly like Asuka Koujo as I remembered her to be.

That might have been the reason why I immediately made my way to her and situated my palms against my knees as I stooped forward. I greeted her with an awkward but soft "Hi" and asked her why she was crying. She looked up from her ball of fists that she used to rub her eyes with and spoke of how everyone called her weird just because she can see things others can't.

In my mind, I was able to nail it to the conclusion that the child had some deep connection with the supernatural. "Fortitudo est credere." I said," Strength comes from believing." I told her to not be affected by the taunts, and believe that the object of her sadness could be turned into her weapon.

Her cries intensify, but she was now smiling, as if she had been waiting for someone to tell her those words.

"Hara Masako." She suddenly blurts out when her mother came to pick her up. I was startled at the introduction, and from her mother's expression, I could tell that she was beyond surprised as well. "What's your name, Big Sister?"

Like I did with Koujo Lin, I introduced myself with the name I was not born with, and like him, she smiled in recognition. The girl's mother bowed to me, I could tell that she was grateful and happy, all the same. I was then lead to believe that Masako must have socially withdrawn herself to protect what's left of her. And I understood her, because the moment I realized that death meant nothing to me, I shut myself out since I was afraid to be hurt.

That's when Acceptance comes in to play.

* * *

 **v.** **追** **求**  
 _"Find what makes your heart sing and create your own music."_

By the summer of my third year, the identity that I possessed was discarded as I traveled towards a country side, intending to repeat first year in High School. It was a place where everybody knows everyone, and they were all but nice people. They made mistakes, but they admitted to it honestly. That was when I thought of a serious reconsideration of generalizing the human race.

"Errare humanum est." I whispered, sitting in an unrefined manner—arms hung on the edge of the bench, back arched forward, head tilted upwards and legs spread, despite the uniform's skirt being an inch above the knee.

"To err is human. That's latin, right?"A voice supplied, and I rolled to the side to have a clear look of who was it that spoke. He was a man, who in appearance, looked older than I am (not that I was any _younger_ than he is), wearing a what I could make out as a monk's outfit. Although his long, bleached and messy hair said otherwise.

The man then asked me what my name was, and naturally, I offered him the new name I took upon. He then introduced himself as "Takigawa Houshou".

He remarked that I was unique, since there were very few Japanese who knew Latin or how to speak it. I didn't tell him that I know how to understand, speak or write it with fluency. Unnecessary suspicion is inessential. Latin had been the global lingua franca before English and I personally lived in Latin-speaking countries, thereupon, not learning it is inexcusable.

We conversed for a short period before a bald elderly man wearing the same monk clothes called the teen away for some business. Houshou Takigawa told me that he'll catch up with me later, but after a few days, I heard from the neighbors that he ran away from home to pursue music.

I stopped expecting to see him again.

* * *

 **vi.** **決別** **  
** _"You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep rereading the last one."_

It only took me nine months before I left the countryside. It might have caused panic, because all they know was that I went for a walk, and then I never came back. Leaving, in an aspect of being difficult because of luggage and personal belongings, was never hard for me. I don't bring any when I leave except for money and the clothes that I wore when I do the deed.

I took a train to Osaka, and after the 5th time of switching trains, I arrived there on dawn. I know of one thing at the moment, and that is, I was running out of money. I was positive that I couldn't even afford an inn. After a minute of thinking, I made a beeline towards a nearby Catholic church.

Bashfulness is out of question when desperate. That was what I was right now. _Desperate_. I told the head priest that I have no money to lodge off in an inn, and that may I _please please please_ stay at the church before I could find a job and have the capital to supply myself. Gazing at me as if I was a 15 year old orphan, the priest acquiesced without much delay and even offered that I could stay at the church for the time being, since they would appreciate a helping hand.

I eagerly took the offer.

Taking care of children is draining, but partly enjoyable. I found my place surrounded by children of any ages—playing, laughing, baking cookies, unwrapping gifts—letting myself be dragged by the children's purity and integrity, I would say that it's pretty much worth the trouble.

After two weeks, a new child joined us. Just like me, he stayed on the church. He was a foreigner, and from the accent that I could make out when he spoke English, he was Australian. Later, I found out that his name was "John Brown". He was a few years younger than my appearance, probably around thirteen or fourteen. Despite of the language barrier between him and the other kids, he could still have a pleasant time with them.

I would often see him with a beginner Japanese book in his hand after a whole month of staying at the church. The children noticed this too and prompted to teach him Japanese in an Osaka accent. Nonetheless, they still had a difficult time. When he opened the book once again after we ate dinner, I watched behind him.

He tried to pronounce a few words that came off as slanged Japanese, showing a determined expression afterwards. Optimism, I noted, was clearly the child's best quality. I then corrected him at the pronunciation basis.

I could see the way he gaped when I began teaching him about the Japanese diction using his own language and accent with articulation. What I liked about the whole ordeal was how he didn't ask, but instead began nodding his head off and taking notes to my teachings. His nights of learning continued and it took a week and a half before he could speak lucidly—rather fast, if I may say so.

It was mid-day at the end of October that I bid my farewell to the head priest. He was dumbfounded because it was the first time that I said anything related about it, and on the exact day of the departure nonetheless. He persuaded me to stay—to at least say good bye to the other kids.

"Ultra posse nemo obligatur. Leaving is a part of my life, Father. Thank you for letting me stay." I said, and then my cue to exit their lives was up.

* * *

 **vii.** **希望** **  
** _"Efforts and courage are not without purpose and direction."_

The following months were a journey with an aimless destination.

I stayed place to place and left after a week or two. Most of the people I've encountered thought that I was in vacation or that I've ran away from home. I cleared the latter immediately and posed a convincing explanation—and from their expressions were understanding and acceptance, which meant that I was successful in my persuasion.

My next stop was a Hot Spring inn. Rather costly, but the food and bath is great so I had no complaint. To provide for myself, I have started selling Japanese snacks that I personally baked. Those who have tasted it came back for more, therefore by the end of the day, all that I have made were sold-out.

When I gathered enough finances to live for some amount of time without worrying about money at all, I decided that the Hot Spring Inn would be the perfect place. My decision was proved to be correct after two hours of stay. The staffs were friendly, and conversing with them lifted a portion of my boredom.

By the second day, students from Tokyo lodged in on the said inn for their trip, and the halls were rowdy with teenage voices. Other people had even mistaken me to be one of the students and asked me what school I am from, and I shook my head, saying that I am not one of the students.

The students, in particular, often strike a conversation with me and I found myself not minding at all. Mostly, it was all about asking for directions, and sometimes, it drags on. **  
**  
It was purely by chance that on that humid night, I opted to walk around the surrounding forest. The night within a forest had the most serene and pure cold breeze that could soothe me much better than a hot spring, and I craved for that.

I then heard a large thud—the ruffling of countless of leaves being pushed down by a weight, and the furious pained whisper that followed. My hearing sense was enhanced, therefore,I was able to know that it was from a distance.

I tracked the source, and found myself standing by the edge of a not-too deep cliff, staring down at the source, in which appears to be a bundle of red fluffy hair, with its hands curled to its left foot and trembling. _Definitely a person. It seemed to be wearing the inn's yukata. Is it one of the students?_

I could hear how it sobbed, and basing by the voice it gave off, it was a female. A female _student._

"W-Why is this happening? Mama and Papa will get angry again. They'll scold me for doing something stupid again… Even though what I'm doing isn't stupid…I-I'm sure there's lots of good tree spirits here too…" She was mumbling to herself with a shaky tone. Tree spirits, huh?

The girl then started to call out to the tree spirits for help. After half an hour of observing her, she started to call out to humans, and I silently leaped to the side of the cliff, and fell gracefully to my foot bushes away from her.

I then made my appearance, and her apparent reddish brown eyes owlishly stared at me. I made her believe that I heard her voice and came running afterwards, and by the moment, she erupted and cried violently, rubbing furiously at her eyes, her breath hitching as if her lungs were uncertain about giving her the right supply of air.

I lifted one of her arms and guided her out of the forest. She was still tearful; her cheeks flushed red, most probably embarrassed by her condition. From her fair skin, to how she called her parents, I could only guess that she was a daughter of a rich family.

When we returned to the inn, the whole building was in frenzy. It appeared that her friends noticed her absence, and confirming that she was gone, they told the teachers. The teachers and the staffs, along with some police then started to search for the missing girl, who was in the forest, blindly trying to find tree spirits.

"May I know your name? You saved me after all. Oh, my name is Matsuzaki Ayako…" She introduced herself after the police was done questioning her. I gave her a smile, and then gave the fake identity that I inputted on the inn's list of costumers.

When she was about to retreat and call it a day by going to her room, I called out her name, and she responded by turning towards me with a perplexed look.

"Tree spirits can only be found within the living trees. The living trees are those old and big ones that you see far from the city—uncontaminated and pure. " I then smiled, "Remote shrines usually have those trees."

Her countenance was a mixture of astonishment and mortification, possibly thinking why I know where the tree spirits reside and the fact that I knew that she was looking for them.

I giggled and entered the forest again. This time, I never came back.

* * *

 **viii.** **眠り**  
 _"Life is one long process of getting tired."_

I plodded towards a shrine seated at the heart of a rocky mountain with an extensive sea of trees and enigmatic creatures.

After climbing up the long cemented stairs and arriving in front of the _torii_ , the entrance of the shrine burst open because of a gale that swept everything in its way. I could feel it surge and creep into my body, seemingly trying to assess me, and after a few seconds, a tornado-esque burst and took shape in between the distance of the _torii_ and the shrine, forming into a tall man with dark slick long hair and a dark yukata to pair it off.

I know that he would be taken aback. It had been a few centuries since I made a home of the shrine, which in my notion as of now, is currently abandoned. There had been a village outside the shrine, and its people worshiped the fox goddess that resided within the said holy ground.

"H-How—Why are you—" The man, a shikigami of the fox god blessed with the name 'Teu', started, extremely confused. I only gave him an omniscient smile and told the fox goddess to get out unless she didn't want her shrine to be burnt to the ground.

True to my expectations, the fox goddess appeared with a flurry of fresh leaves—small and lithe physique, white long hair that reached her ankles, shrine maiden's robes, and a pair of absolutely white ears that stuck in her head. Her expression was like Teu's. She was as baffled as him.

"You have the same smell. Are you her descendant? Or—or…" She trailed, her lips trembled. I shook my head to disagree, "No, Inehaki-sama, It is I—all in flesh, still stuck in the realm of the humans."

"B-But, it has been eight centuries! H-How can you be still—" Her voice broke. She was still a child fox goddess when I stayed on the shrine—vulnerable, easily swayed. I was thinking that she might have changed at all, but she didn't. She wasn't as mature, as forlorn, and as lonely as I had expected her to be.

It was the first time that I contacted a former acquaintance. But it was fine. She may die early than I am, but it's fine. Her life span is longer than a human's, that's why, I…

"Four years. Inehaki-sama, please let me sleep in your humble abode for four years."

I could feel the heavy lids of my eyes trying to shut off the world, my muscles a lump of heavy mass that drags me down to the ground. Even I am not as invincible as anyone would think I would be. Hundreds of years of being awake puts a toll on my body, and I would regularly slumber for two to three years. It was the same amount this time, but I wanted to spend a whole one year with my former family before leaving.

I considered being refused flatly, but never had I considered that the fox goddess would ram her body into mine, sending us stumbling on the ground, and hug me tightly like If she doesn't, I would fade away just like they thought I did before.

She didn't ask, she just hugged me with tears streaming from her eyes, brows furrowing, and aggressively nodding off, "You can stay, please stay. This shrine will be here for you every time. Please, _please_ , stay."

I chuckled lightly, and I could feel my consciousness drift away. I managed to pat her on the head before my hand limped and dropped by my side, "Bonum nocte," I breathed, "Let's play a lot when I wake up."

And I then plunged into the abyss of darkness.

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 **Author's Note: Thanks for reading :) I hope you like it.**

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	2. ix - xiii

**落ちるまで** **-** ℳ⻚2⻥4⻚2⻥5⻦1⻥6 ℳ⻥6⻥9⻥0

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 **ix.** **再び**  
 _"Travel is about the gorgeous feeling of the teetering in the unknown."_

"Please don't go!"

I turned my head towards the pleading goddess, and I could see the tears that had started to form in the corner of her eyes, and how she slightly trembled—most probably forcing herself not to but failing at it.

Eight centuries is still considered as a few years for the non-human beings. As long as someone out there continuously believes in them, they will relentlessly exist.

But I was different. My journey is never-ending—perpetual. Even if nobody believes in me, even if nobody knows what I am truly, I will remain alive.

"I'm sorry, Inehaki-sama. That request alone, is something I could never fulfill." I offered her a genuine gentle smile, my long brown hair billowing against the west wind that swept across the grounds of the shrine.

"T-then please…" She halted, looking at the ground, and then back at me, her clear azure eyes glinting in desperation, "Please tell me at least what you are! I really want to know!"

I lightly chuckled, placing an open palm in my chest, my smile stretching more until it became a grin that reflected a fourth of the darkness that rested in my soul, "I am something that transcended the human race."

Inehaki-sama sharply gasped, her eyes wide as saucers, beads of sweat forming on her forehead as it descended in a rapid yet slow manner. Teu, being protective of his master, appeared in front of her while facing me, body reared in an offensive stance, sharp eyes trying to tear me into pieces, "So you do admit that you were once a human. When? When did you stop becoming one?"

"A far past. Much farther than when I met both of you. A past where there was nothing but survival and subjugation." I then broke out into a sheepish smile, as they then blinked, surprised, and looking stupid at the same time, "Well, you asked and there's my answer."

I bowed at the fox goddess, "I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart, Inehaki-sama. I thought at first that you would doubt my words or that, even if you did believe, you would be enraged." When I lifted my gaze to look at her, I felt relief fiercely bubbling inside me, "Thank you for believing in me."

She was crying, but the large smile that spilled out from her lips was a positive indication. The shikigami beside her straightened his form, his hand rubbing the back of his head as he hopelessly smiled, "Really now?"

" Thank you for telling me. You're welcome to come back here again. I mean, I insist that you come back here again!"

I nodded at silver fox goddess, and then proceeded on the next phase of my endless journey.

* * *

 **x.** **運** **命**  
 _"We don't meet people by accident. They are meant to cross our paths for a reason."_

It has been roughly three months since I enrolled in high-school again.

I blended with the students well, getting along with almost every one of them, specifically with a long haired girl named Michiru, and another girl with pigtails named Keiko. They liked ghost stories, and I, being a part of the supernatural itself, was able to convey a few out of the hundreds that I was able to gather by the passing years.

A tell-tale of ghost stories is absolutely a norm with high school students, especially with their curiousness about something that they could not comprehend—and possibly never will. However, I admit, that it may not be the first time that I was included in groups that were interested in such, it was the first time that I was thoroughly interested with what they had to say, since most of the time, I have already heard of the ghost stories that were told to me and had to pretend that I have never so I wouldn't crush the fun. The last time I did, there were dire casualties with friendship that I had to deal with.

Let's just say that Michiru and Keiko's paranormal tales are quite fresh in my ears.

"It's cursed!" Michiru's voice broke me out of my trance. She, Keiko, and I are in the AV room with lights closed. The only thing that could let us see each other was a pathetic tiny stick light.

"In that old school building, students died." Michiru started, "There was even a teacher who committed suicide. While they were demolishing the west wall, the roof collapsed. And then…" She trailed and Keiko gulped, already catching up to what she was implying. "So the construction stopped. The demolition was restarted last year to rebuild the gym. But that time, a truck went out of control, and drove through the field during class, killing some students."

Her last phrase was given an instantaneous response of a grimace from Keiko and I (not that it wasn't on purpose at all). "I heard from an upperclassman, that if you go by the old school building at night…"

The air was tense, and I knew that it was time for the stories to end.

"Here I go. 1." Michiru.

"2." Keiko.

"3." Me.

"4."

It took a second before the fourth voice sent us into panicked disarray and the lights that were shut came back shining once more. Out of breath because of my friend with pig tails choking the air out of me, I couldn't focus my attention to the newcomer's voice.

"Excuse me. The lights were out so I thought nobody was here when I heard voices, so I just…" It was a man with raven hair and dark indigo hues that flashed something akin to… arrogance.

I could hear my two friends starting to squeal, since the man was undeniably handsome, I must say. I stared at him, not because I was smitten by his appearance, but because he was eerily familiar. I couldn't put a finger as to where and when did I meet him, but I was definite that I have seen him somewhere.

"Um.. Mind telling us your name?" My long-haired friend asked, her hands clasped together, and an apparent tinge of pink spread across her cheeks.

"Shibuya. Shibuya Kazuya." The man replied, and I narrowed my eyes. _'His eyes… aren't smiling at all.'_

It took me exactly 5 hours and a half after school to pinpoint where I have last seen him. It was at the party, where my status was a daughter(adopted) of a noble. I saw a man that I have met when he was still but a little child—Koujo Lin—and there were two boys –twins —standing beside him.

I thought that the man in the AV room was the one with the kind smile who told me that I wasn't human. But there was something different about the aura. After two minutes of pondering, I concluded that it was the standoffish scowling one who was ready to commit homicide because he didn't want to be in the party.

* * *

 **xi.** **驚** **き**  
 _"One of the mankind's greatest failings, lies in its inability; to put itself in its brother's shoes."  
_

I could feel my eyes twitch as I stared at the group of people that has gathered in the room. Starting from Shibuya Kazuya – I nicknamed him Naru-chan (derived from the word "Narcissist") because he views himself as someone so high and mighty—,a red-haired priestess named "Matsuzaki Ayako", a blonde monk called "Takigawa Houshou", a girl with pitch-black hair named "Hara Masako", and a blonde priest from Australia called "John Brown".

Honestly speaking, I was about to rip all the strands of my hair apart from my skull because I recognize all of them. Fate seems to work like a Domino effect, and I was the one who initiated it by slumbering at Inehaki-sama's shrine.

My thousands of years of effort to _not meet_ someone who I acquainted myself with _even for just a few minutes_ crumbled away to dust and was carried down by the unforgiving wind.

I let out a shaky breath. I had been on edge ever since I met Koujo Lin for the third time in my life time. I witnessed no recognition in his eyes at that time, so it was possible that he wasn't able to remember me. Or that's what I wished to believe.

The morning after the night that I found out who Shibuya Kazuya was (a twin of Eugene Davis), I steeled myself to never get myself involved with him _ever_ again. But then, there was a camera in the middle of the deserted old school building. I deeply exhaled in agony.

But still, seeing them again after a few years was something similar to being a flabbergasted proud parent that saw his son or daughter descend from a battle ship that returned from a horrible war.

Hara Masako apparently heeded my words, as she turned her weakness into her weapon. Now, she's a famous spirit medium that appears in the television. I don't know much about Takigawa Houshou, but by looking at him right now, I could pretty much guess that his profession isn't by being a monk alone. John Brown's eloquence in Kansai dialect is frighteningly humorous, however. I partly regretted teaching him Japanese in Kyoto's dialect. Matsuzaki Ayako gained superfluous amount of confidence, and truth to be told, I would prefer the overly shy one who was blindly searching for tree spirits in the forest than the current one any time.

"Have I met you somewhere before?"

I glanced at Masako who was currently scrutinizing Naru. And I then turned my attention back to Naru. "No, this is the first time we've met." He clarified.

"Is that so."

If Masako would have questioned me with the same sentence, I might have answered the exact same sentence that Naru provided.

* * *

 **xii.** **虚ろ**  
 _"When you open the door to the other side, you might find a new world of possibilities that you never knew existed."_

I rose from the tatami mat where I was ungracefully sprawled out, tilting my head to inspect the room where I found myself at. _'Where Am I?'_

In the hot summer of July, the SPR received another request from a client that consisted of exorcising a house. The client was Morishita Noriko, who was currently living with her sister-in-law Kana, and niece Ayami. We found ourselves struggling about how to deal with it, since the spirits that prowled inside the house were extremely violent. One mistake and everything goes downhill.

My fists clenched and I furrowed my brows. In front of me, an unfurled scroll hung into a wall, the character "寿" was written in a beautiful calligraphy. The silence was unnerving, and I think I might have gone colorblind because I see nothing but sepia.

I raised my gaze and noticed the sliding door ajar, a silhouette of a little girl bouncing a ball could be seen. _'She looks like a tiny Masako or Asuka.'_ And I then pinched the bridge of my nose. Everyone with pitch black hair, black eyes and wearing a kimono is now considered to be a Masako or Asuka wanna-be.

I sighed in despondence. Despite of my hair not turning into gray or white, I can still feel that the senility has claimed me.

"But still…" I placed a hand on my chin, trying to make out of the scene in front of me with critical eyes. "That's not Ayami-chan. whose child is she?"

Another silhouette appeared out of the blue. This time, it was of a man wearing a coat and a hat. The man outstretched his hand to the girl, and my chocolate orbs narrows. "Is this, by chance…?"

The silhouettes moved farther and farther away, and I was scrambling from my position to go after them. My intuition was telling me that chasing after them would be futile, and I was proven correct when they completely vanished in thin air.

A few meters in front of me, a woman materialized, and I instantly stopped on my tracks. The woman's back was facing me, and even without looking at her expression, I know that she was frantic and fearful, screaming "Tomiko" over and over again, as she ran searching for her lost child. When she suddenly stood still, I peered over her shoulder, and my eyes widened a fraction.

Afloat the lake was the ball of the child. The woman then screamed, and I frowned.

The scene then shifted, and this time, the woman was leaning against the end of a well. A single tear slid down her cheek, and the entirety of her torso was now hovering over the gape of the sunken shaft.

"Tragic, is it not?"

I turned my head towards the one who spoke, and wasn't surprised when I found Eugene Davis standing right behind me. His countenance was downcast, and I suppose that my expression is a reflection of his. I nodded curtly, "Yes." I breathed with a heavy heart, "Yes, it is."

"I guess, that's how it works." He continued, "Holding someone dear to you to the point that you can't bear them gone happens to few people."

"Alive but not living, hm?" I started to walk away from him, and I could tell that he was still watching me. I noted that a bright light was shining in a distance, and I inferred that it was like a gate to consciousness.

When the soft and warm luminescence started to spread over my features and devoured me from the astral plane that I liked to call my dream world, I glimpsed at Eugene for a moment before fully turning my awareness towards the light, "Was that perhaps the case with you and Naru?"

"Perhaps." He answered with a cryptic smile, and I didn't pry any longer.

* * *

 **xiii.** **内部**  
 _"We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them."_

My iron clutch towards the edge of the manhole lessened when I heard Naru hastily weaving his way from the tall grasses to reach me. The pull beneath my lower half was unexpectedly strong, but was something that I could deal with. I could, unless I had a spectator. Naru, at the moment, perfectly filled in for that part.

I gritted my teeth, partly wishing for the creepy ghost to _kindly unleash me because your sardonic grin isn't healthy for my memory_ and mostly for Naru to _please go somewhere else where you can't see me back flipping my way out of the manhole with the ghost in tow_. I cussed in latin. It was because of my curiosity again.

We received multiple cases coming from the students and teacher of the Yuasa Private High, on a Sunday of November. There were many things involved and we were able to narrow it down to a wooden human doll when it was discovered under the desk and in the track and field's clubroom.

We were finding said wooden human dolls when I saw a crying child in the middle of the field. I knew it wasn't human, but still. It was crying. I groaned in frustration as the only finger that supported me slipped, and I shrieked because I saw Naru extended his arm when all I wanted to do was to somersault so I could get out of the mess.

His hand gripped my wrist, and he must have misunderstood my frustrated expression as a terrified one, because his eyes softened, "Hold on tightly. There's a ladder there—can you climb your way up?"

I situated a foot there and it _snapped_. The force of the snap made me lose balance, and Naru was dragged forward.

I should really tell him sometime to leave me alone when he sees me in danger.

* * *

 **xiv.** **低下**  
 _"There is no such thing as a hopeless situation. Every single circumstance of your life can change."_

Naru accused Ubusuna Kei, the Yuasa Private High's biology teacher to be the one who was doing the hexing. The woman kept her voice and actions calm, but by the tenseness of her shoulder and by her rigid jaws, it was as clear as the sky that she, indeed, was the culprit.

Naru, on the other hand, was absolutely confident that she was the one who did it. Remembering that time in the sewer, there were fresh rubbles that crumbled—no, forcefully torn. A human cannot tear concrete so _easily_ , and I didn't remember touching or even doing _anything_ to cushion our fall. The spoon bending was fake. The coin handling was a trick. But what he did when we fell wasn't.

I internally scoffed, _'Psychokinesis, of course.'_ Must have I been too idiotic not to realize that he has psychic abilities when his twin brother was entirely capable of it?

The case officially ended when Ubusuna Kei slipped her pleasant mask off and went on an outburst and finally claiming her wrongdoings. I held back a morose smile. _'That's right. This is the nature of humans.'_

After I exited Naru's room, and bid him a good day, I went straight at the apartment that I was staying. _'Ah, my stomach is churning from the revoltingness of it all.'_ I went over to the bathroom sink and practically coughed my ribs out. I was restraining my cough when I was in Naru's room because it would be rude. I did expect it to be a fit, but not this hard.

It was getting harder to breathe, and my line of sight became blurry from the tears that accumulated from every cough that I produced. After a good five minutes of nothing but coughing, I resorted to shut my eyes and force all the things that were seemingly stuck in my throat. No. It wasn't from my throat. It was somewhere from my stomach.

When the coughs subsided, I prompted to open my eyes, and decided to simply roll on my bed and call it a day afterwards.

"What the hell." I caught myself off-guard, as I stared at the thick red liquid that coated the sink in ugly drops and puddles.

I looked at myself at the square mirror that was suspended just above the faucet, and saw a very pale face staring back, blood dribbling out from the lips.

"Shit." This wasn't good.

* * *

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